How does your internal conversation go when you’re feeling down? Are there any repetitive negative thoughts or ideologies that you’re holding on to? Is there ever any blame attached to Allah? Be honest, this isn’t a place of judgement, but it is a place of truth.
When we feel low we may find ourselves engaging in unhelpful intrusive thoughts. Part of these thoughts may include how fair we believe Allah to be. We may think we are being punished or that Allah doesn’t love us even though we are trying.
Not only does this type of thinking not aid us on our healing journey, it also negates one the Names of Allah: as-salaam.
As-salaam doesn’t just mean ‘the peace’ which is too simplistic. It also means the absence of evil and the absence of harm. How can we then believe that Allah tests us to toy with us or messes up our plans to mess with us? There can be no evil or malice attached to Allah, otherwise He could not be as-salaam.
His name also shows us where and to Whom we should be running to in times of hardship and calamity – to the Source of comfort and safety.
Since as-salaam is the absence of evil, He also can’t have any negative attributes because this conflicts with peace. Yes, Allah can be angry but this anger doesn’t come from a place of cruelty, same thing with the punishments from Allah.
Next time you feel your thoughts going down this path, try to dig a little deeper to find the root cause. Why do you think Allah doesn’t love you? If you ask yourself enough why questions you’ll get to the real reason. When you’re there ask yourself one question: do you believe you are worthy of love?